I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
His nipple licking is glorious
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