Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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