I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
