That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
