he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
