Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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