Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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