your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Sext me about skeletons
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
