you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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