Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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