Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
