Don't make out with my wife yet
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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