its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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