I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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