i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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