Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
