It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
