Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
