Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
