Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
