FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
