i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
