porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize