is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
