he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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