whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
