She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
