i don't plan on having that self control this summer
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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