I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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