Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
