I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
