last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
