You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
