Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
