I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
