Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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