You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
