my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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