the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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