singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
