when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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