the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
