what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
