if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
