The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
