Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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