you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
