dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
