New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
