my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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