"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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