I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
