butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
