Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
