His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
