life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
