I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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