i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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