clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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