No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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