So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
